Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1246 - Managing Transition Distress In Kids

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Episode notes

What do you do when your child comes home from the other parent’s house completely dysregulated—tantrums, tears, and turmoil? In this episode, Justin and Kylie respond to a heartfelt question from a grandparent caring for her four-year-old grandson. Together, they explore why these transitions are so tough, what’s really going on beneath the surface, and how to create calm, connection, and consistency after a disruptive change in environment.

KEY POINTS:

Transition distress is common for kids moving between homes, especially in co-parenting situations.
Tantrums are not misbehaviour—they’re a child’s way of saying, “I’m overwhelmed and don’t know how to cope.”
Emotional storms after change can be a sign of trust—kids release emotions where they feel safest.
A “transition toolkit” can soften the landing when children return from the other parent’s house.
Predictable routines, consistent rituals, and physical or emotional regulation activities make a big difference.
Compassionate communication—within and between households—helps reduce stress and confusion for everyone.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“The most important gift we can give our kids is a consistent, compassionate response.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

happyfamilies.com.au – Parenting support and resources
Submit your own tricky question: [email protected] or leave a voice message at happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Create a Soft Landing: After a transition, keep things calm, quiet, and low-stimulation. Avoid errands or activities.
Establish Connection Rituals: Use consistent, comforting activities like a shared snack, special book, or photo album.
Support Emotional Regulation: Offer hugs, breathing exercises, or safe physical play to help them reset.
Validate Without Endorsing: Accept their feelings (“It’s okay to be upset”) while gently guiding behaviour.
Use Visual Supports: Calendars, countdowns, and transitional objects (like a favourite toy or photo) help children prepare.
Communicate Across Households: When possible, work towards consistency in routines and expectations between homes.

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