Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1228 - Being an ADHD Mum With Jane McFadden (R)

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Episode notes

What happens when a high-achieving mum, running two businesses and parenting three kids, discovers that the chaos in her life isn’t just “normal”—it’s undiagnosed ADHD? In this powerful and relatable conversation, Justin chats with former psychologist and ADHD advocate Jane McFadden about her late diagnosis, parenting in a neurodiverse family, and why understanding is the first step towards connection.

KEY POINTS:

  • Jane McFadden was diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood—after years of burnout, high-functioning chaos, and parenting struggles.

  • ADHD can often be masked by achievement, especially in women.

  • Many children and adults use “scaffolding,” or complex routines, to hide difficulties with executive function.

  • Diagnosis isn’t about labels—it’s about understanding and unlocking connection.

  • Neurodiverse families can thrive when support and insight replace shame and confusion.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“If you don’t want to label your child, they’ll label themselves—and it’ll be far worse than any diagnosis.”

RESOURCES:

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

  1. If you suspect neurodiversity in yourself or your child, seek a qualified assessment—it can offer clarity and hope.

  2. Explore resources and communities like ADHD Mums to connect with others on a similar journey.

  3. Approach parenting with empathy—ask your child why something is hard instead of assuming they’re being defiant.

  4. Recognise the signs of burnout in yourself and prioritise support.

  5. Focus on connection first—diagnosis is a tool to deepen relationships, not define them.

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