I Do! Life, Love, and Traditional Marriage

Episode 01: Meet the Bradens!

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Episode notes

Join Dan & Lynn on their inaugural podcast for “I Do!” and the TradLife Network! In this first episode of the foundation season, Dan and Lynn discuss their family backgrounds, their education, and how they met. Next they begin their discussion of Trad marriage by defining what traditionalism is. Finally, they wrap up with a quick outline of upcoming podcast episode topics.

“Well, this isn’t some ‘let’s go back and live in the 1950’s’ idea. These roles are supported by current medical and psychological science. As we study what makes up the differences between the sexes, and how we come by the behaviors that define our relationships, we’ve discovered that we’re built operate in a certain way.”

Dan Braden

Meet The Bradens

Lynn: I loved growing up on the farm and wouldn't change it for the world. Except that after meeting Dan, I found out about all the TV shows I missed growing up because we only had two channels.

Dan: I can't believe that. They only had two TV channels up there on the farm, folks. So we sit there, and I'm talking about, "do you remember what happened on such and such TV show?" And she's like, "No."

Lynn: Well, we only had two TV channels. We didn't have the other 150 channels you guys had.

Dan: You poor, deprived child.

Lynn: I was deprived. I didn't know it, but obviously I was.

Dan: Hello, and welcome to I Do! Life, Love, and Traditional Marriage, our brand-new podcast on the new TradLife Network. I'm your host, Dan Braden,

Lynn: ...and I'm his wife Lynn Braden.

Dan: And we're happy that you joined us today. This is our first episode. Meet the Braden's. You're going to get the chance to get to know us a little better. We'll talk a bit about our past, about what brought us here and why we decided to start the TradLife Network and to do this podcast. Finally, we'll wrap up by starting our discussion into what traditionalism is.

Lynn: So, hello and welcome!

Dan: We hope you enjoy the time you spend with us.

Lynn: Let's Go Trad! Shall I start off and tell our listeners a little bit about me?

Dan: Sure. Go for it.

Lynn: So, as we mentioned earlier, my name is Lynn and I was born and raised in a small farming community in Alberta, Canada. I'm the youngest of three children and we were raised Roman Catholic. I loved growing up on the farm and wouldn't change it for the world. Except that after meeting Dan, I found out about all the TV shows I missed growing up because we only had two channels.

Dan: I can't believe that. They only had two TV channels up there on the farm, folks. So we sit there, and I'm talking about, "do you remember what happened on such and such TV show?" And she's like, "No."

Lynn: Well, we only had two TV channels. We didn't have the other 150 channels you guys had.

Dan: You poor, deprived child.

Lynn: I was deprived. I didn't know it, but obviously I was. Unfortunately, when I was a teenager, my dad passed away very suddenly. And our world was totally changed. My mom, who for my whole life had been a stay at home mom, went back and upgraded her schooling - because she never used her college diploma when she got married. And although it wasn't her first choice, she went back to work to support us. And as an adult, I appreciate everything she had to go through for us.

Dan: So, you've had a lot of experience with different family structures. Then you've had the traditional two parent household and you've also lived in a single parent household.

Lynn: That's correct, yes. Something a little more complex than most of my peers, but I didn't feel any different than anyone else. It was just one of those things that naturally progressed because we had to. Growing up on the farm, you see a lot. So that circle of life is very prominent, and you just continue to go on with life. That's how it worked. But you also learned a lot of lessons. One that is most important to me is how hard work comes with long term benefits. You saw a couple of weeks ago, we planted potatoes at the farm. You were there.

Dan: Lots of potatoes.

Lynn: No, not very many. When we were young, we used to plant hundreds and hundreds of hills of potatoes. We had a whole potato garden just by itself.

Dan: I know you like potatoes. So, this explains a lot.

Lynn: Exactly. Because if you had potatoes, you had a way to provide for your family. We were never hungry when we had potatoes, but I also learned how to can and pickle. We dealt with cows all the time, which, you know, I hate cows, but I love to eat steak. So there's a benefit there.

Dan: I know about cows. You dragged me into the doing cows thing a couple of times now.

Lynn: Yeah. And growing up on the farm also instilled the love of knowledge in me - because on the farm, if you had to fix something, you first had to understand how it worked. Again, both my parents, they graduated from college, which was rare back then. Although my mom, like I said, never used her occupation until later in life. But she installed that love of learning in me. And I think I would be one of those perpetual students if I could afford to go to college nonstop. But right now, my educational background is business administration with mostly a management background.

Dan: Yes. And you've put that you could use for us here. Now if I can back up, I want to ask you a question.

Lynn: Oh, sure.

Dan: You're saying that your mom went to university.

Lynn: That's correct.

Dan: She had a master's degree.

Lynn: Yes.

Dan: But after she obtained her degree, she still chose to be a traditional housewife.

Lynn: Yes. I mean, she raised us, she helped out on the farm. We all did. We all did outside chores and we all did inside chores, but the house was her domain. She ran the household; she ran the garden. She looked after us kids.

Dan: Well, very traditional gender role kind of mother.

Lynn: That's correct.

Dan: And I assume your father went out and worked the farm to provide for your family. Yes. So, I think it's reasonable to say that your parents chose and were happy living their gender roles.

Lynn: Yeah, that's correct. So, what about your growing up Dan?

Dan: Oh, goodness. I grew up with a very inconsistent family structure. Thankfully, I had my grandparents and they were very consistent and stable. They gave me good examples of what a marriage and a relationship between a husband and wife should be. In fact, when I turned 18, I resolved, I was not going to live as my parents and stepparents did. Instead, I was going to do things like my grandparents had done it. I had a really good chance to see both sides: an unstable modern form of family structure, and also occasionally I had a stable, two parent traditional household to live in - where my grandfather worked as a carpenter, my grandmother was a housewife - until the kids moved out - when she did go to work part time, primarily to keep herself busy. It's interesting to me, we've had two different family backgrounds, yet we have very similar views of what family structure works best and what structures don't work.

Lynn: I agree with that.

Dan: Well, and now as far as education goes, I've learned many things over my life. Although I don't have a university degree in one subject, my educational background is in medicine, psychology and neuroscience, with a sprinkling of history and philosophy. If I gathered up all my university credits, I'd probably have more than enough for a master's degree, but currently I'm working towards finishing certification as a life and relationship coach, specializing in pre-marriage and marriage couples coaching.

Lynn: So, let's fast forward some years for people and here we are together. Dan, why don't you tell people a little bit about how we met?

Dan: So, I have to say this is not my first time at the marriage rodeo. It's not exactly the first time for you either. Is it?

Lynn: No. I mean, I had a common law husband who I was engaged with for several years. A wonderful man. Unfortunately, a month before our wedding, he was killed in a workplace tragedy. Then a few years later, I met you. You helped me pick up the pieces and start gluing them back together. I'm messy job trying to heal someone's heart from that. But we'll talk about that in future episode, I think.

Dan: Yeah. We'll have to discuss that. It's an interesting part of our relationship because I've never tried to exclude your prior husband. And I know you say common law, but from my point of view, I see someone that had a marriage experience before, even though legal part of it might not have been performed. Well, anyway, we met on eHarmony - plug there for a wonderful service.

Lynn: eHarmony is a wonderful service!

Dan: I was living in the States. And at that time, you were living in Southern Alberta, one of the Western provinces of Canada. I'm not certain about whether soulmates exist or not, but if they do, you're mine! I took one look at your dating profile, and I was like, "Wow, hubba hubba! I was smitten!

Lynn: I agree. We had one of those whirlwind romances.

Dan: We did! But at the same time, it didn't seem that it was forced or pushed or anything. Our lives blended together quickly. We're a very close match in our personalities and our points of view and our politics. And although you were raised as Catholic and I was raised more Baptist with a sprinkling of this and that, we even have the same ideas about God, about our Christian faith and the like.

Lynn: Right. I mean, we talked, we met, we were married probably within four months of meeting, I think

Dan: Yeah, about four months. Yes.

Lynn: I truly believe that if you spend time answering the questions on eHarmony, it actually works. If you're truthful with yourself and reflect that in your answers, they'll match you with wonderful people. That's how I met my first husband. And that's how I met you. And I believe both were perfect matches.

Dan: I agree.

Lynn: So, let's tell people a little story, one of my favorite stories anyways. When we were first talking - I don't think we'd even met in person yet - and you were at the grocery store buying something for supper.

Dan: Yep, that was before we met for the first time.

Lynn: Yeah. So, you were shopping, I think, to buy pizza for supper. And you asked me what my favorite kind of pizza was, and I said, "well, it's Hawaiian, but you have to add extra pineapple." And you said, "Oh, me too!" And I thought, "Oh gosh, this guy is really pulling my leg". It seemed like a weird coincidence to me. But we started talking about groceries while you were shopping. And I said that Mac and Cheese is good, but it has to be Velveeta Mac and Cheese. And a few seconds later, you texted me a picture of your shopping cart. It had Hawaiian pizza, an extra can of pineapple and Velveeta cheese in your cart with a bunch of other stuff. And I think that's when I fell in love with you, it was such a weird feeling because we were so in sync.

Dan: Absolutely! It was a unique experience for me too. Yeah, I've been in a lot of dating situations in the past where it had been "opposites attract" yet being such opposites didn't work. It's absolutely wonderful being with someone I can really call my best friend as well as my wife,

Lynn: You're my best friend, too.

Dan: Well, let's take a little break at this point and tell you about one of our wonderful affiliates or sponsors. And when we come back, we'll start talking about traditionalism and what this podcast is going to be about. And we'll give you some highlights into upcoming episodes.

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Dan: And we are welcoming you back to the very first episode of I Do! Life, Love, and Traditional Marriage. Again, I'm Dan Braden, and I'm here with my beautiful bride

Lynn: Lynn Brayden. Welcome back! So, Dan. I know we've talked about it a few times before, but maybe you should explain to people why we started the TradLife Network.

Dan: Yes, I think that's a good idea. For me, the reason is I see so many people today struggling with their lives, their marriages, how they live and relate to one another. So, I thought that perhaps the best way to deal with that was to share my knowledge of what traditionalism is. And how we can go back to a life that worked for our ancestors, a life that thousands of years of natural selection has brought us to, and that we're set up for.

Lynn: Right. And I think people need to understand that we're not some kind of far out group or anything. We're just people that want to get back to our roots and live a traditional lifestyle. Absolutely. Well, let's start talking about traditionalism. Let's start talking about what we're here to talk about. Sure. So, traditionalism: if you look it up in the dictionary, it says it's "the upholding and maintenance of tradition, especially so as to resist change." Now, I don't think we can truly resist change. It happens. The world changes over time and people change as well. Yet we shouldn't outright dismiss what does work and what has worked for hundreds of years.

Dan: I agree. I think we've left behind a lot of what makes things tick in this world. To me, traditionalism is a counter movement to what's going on today. Today's cultural focus isn't on what has been proven to work. Some call it liberalism. Others call it progressivism. Yet, no matter what you call it, it's the same idea, a cultural movement where we have left behind the scientifically valid concept that we were biologically and psychologically assigned to predetermined roles at birth. And those predetermined roles are a good portion of what defines us as human beings. These roles, established in the most part by our DNA, define our behavior, our relationships, and to a great degree, our place in society.

Lynn: Right? If you mentioned this to most people, they think you're saying that we should all go live like the Cleaver's or the Walton's.

Dan: Well, this isn't some "let's go back and live in the 1950's" idea. These roles are supported by current medical and psychological science. As we study what makes up the differences between the sexes, and how we come by the behaviors that define our relationships, we've discovered that we're built operate in a certain way. Now, there are always exceptions to the rules. But those are only exceptions. They're rare and they're not what is generally the rule for how we operate. Yet, we've moved into a time where the cultural focus is more on the individual and what they feel they should be. And if that feeling opposes what is real, we're just supposed to accept it - even if it is detrimental to that individual. To me, this seems foolish and counterproductive.

Lynn: That's right, Dan. We live in a society of feelings over facts. So, it seems like the concept of traditionalism might be hard for some people to understand, or even to figure out how it fits in their life.

Dan: This is a complex and nuanced subject, and it's somewhat difficult to unpack in just a short 25-minute episode. Suffice it to say that, in general, traditionalism is a social and political movement that essentially says that we honor and respect the predetermined roles that we've been created with. And in respecting those roles, we operate within the constraints of those roles, to the betterment of ourselves, our family, our community, and society at large.

Lynn: Yeah. And sadly, we've left behind those roles. We've also left behind the roles of extended family and community. I think to the detriment of society. In the past, if I didn't have something I could trade or barter with my neighbor, they helped me with my harvest, and I would help them do their harvest. No one was left behind

Dan: Now we've left that behind, and in the process, we've become absolutely isolated and compartmentalized. I think we can look around the world today and see that it's not working for us at all. Now, I'm not even a huge proponent of what they call the "nuclear family", just the father, the mother, and the children. We've left behind the extended family as well. We've lost grandparents, we've lost aunts, uncles. We've lost all of that support structure that made family and community work. I think we need to start looking at those family and societal structures, how they evolved and operated, and then go forward utilizing the best elements of those structures.

Lynn: Yeah, well, that's a great introduction to traditionalism for our listeners. I think it gives them a lot to think about before our next episode.

Dan: I agree. Well, folks, we've reached the end of our episode for today. Before we go, let's give you a little preview as to what's coming up over the next few episodes of this foundation season. Our next episode is going to be about what isn't traditional. We thought we would start with what isn't trad, because there are plenty of examples out there that people claim is traditionalism. For example, the 1950s or the 1800's, or the dark ages, and they'll regale you with tales of, "Oh! It was just terrible back then". Now, we'll use a bit of humor along the way and we're going to explain how those examples aren't traditionalism, instead they're merely modern caricatures or are strawman arguments.

Lynn: Yeah. And after that, we'll dive into a thorough discussion about what traditionalism is. There's a lot to traditionalism; the societal side of it and the political side of it, which tend to go hand in hand.

Dan: Next, we will go step by step through personal and family relationships from a trad point of view. We'll discuss dating versus courting. We will look at living together outside of marriage and discuss if couples can successfully live long term outside of the societal, legal, and often religious contract of marriage.

Lynn: Yeah, we'll also discuss marriage itself: betrothal, the wedding, and after the honeymoon. We'll closely examine traditional family structure, where you would have the wife who would be the homemaker and the husband who's out there working hard to provide for his family. We're going to take a look at raising kids. We're going to touch on some other issues about being a widow and death, grieving, and that remarriage process.

Dan: We'll discuss living as a traditionalist in a world that seems to want us to disappear.

Lynn: And I think we're going to wrap up this first season of foundation episodes with the talk about sex. Yeah. Sex in a traditional marriage, a fun subject that progressives tend to mock and distort.

Dan: Yeah, I would say it's my favorite subject, but... Beyond this foundation season, we plan to interview experts in the fields of traditionalist sociology, psychology, and politics. And we look forward to episodes where we answer your questions about traditionalism as well.

Lynn: Yeah. Well, it's been fun telling you a little bit about us and our backgrounds. What traditionalism is and where we're heading with this podcast.

Dan: Look for us, and our next episode, "That's Not Trad!" in two weeks. Until next time, if you want to check out our other shows or sign up for our newsletter, go to the TradLife Network website at TLN.FM. Again, that's TLN.FM. Until next time: Go Trad!

Dan: This show and others can be found on your favorite podcast app or on our website at tradlife.net. Please subscribe to our newsletter at TLN.FM/newsletter for information on upcoming episodes. This show is copyright 2020 by TradLife Network. All rights reserved.